Artemis Fowl: Insanity!
by evilchibiwolf
Summary: Artemis is dragged to a St. Bartleby reunion with his father. There he meets one of his father’s old friends and worse, his daughter! Can they stand two weeks together when they make each other want to take refuge in an insane asylum?
1. Meeting HER

I couldn't help myself but to write this. I've read a couple of fics like this (but I stole nothing) and I had to try my hand. I just cannot refuse a challenge. But anyway you didn't click on the title of this fic to hear me rant. On with the fic!

Disclaimer first: I don't own Artemis Fowl because it is currently being owned by Eoin Colfer. But I did buy the books and I'm currently saving up to buy the rights to it. He he just kidding.

Summery: Artemis is dragged to a St. Bartleby reunion with his father. There he meets one of his father's old friends and worse, his daughter! Can they stand two weeks together when they make each other want to take refuge in an insane asylum?

Note that I am not planning on making this a romance. I'm not _planning_ on it but then again I don't really plan anything when I write my fan fics. I just whimsily type what first comes to mind. Also note that _whimsily_ is not a word.

* * *

In Artemis's expert opinion the person who first had the idea to have a high school reunion needed to be chased by an angry mob, caught, thrown in a cauldron of boiling tar, covered in feathers, then hung. But it was now too late as his father was taking him to one. At his own school! The last thing he needed was to see the witless idiots he was forced to sit next to in math, while he was on vacation. 

They entered the school grounds and made their way to the auditorium where the celebration was held, Artemis trying to figure out a reason not to go in. But it was too late as they entered through the larger then needed doors with poorly painted banners, cheap decorations, and parents who tried to fit into their old uniforms but couldn't. So they had their kids wear it for them. Old music was blasting from speakers in every corner, so much for hiding in one of them when parents started using old slang in front of your friends.

"Hey Tim!" Yelled someone from behind them. Both Artemis's turned around and saw a tall, slim man who approached them and shook Artemis Sr.'s hand with much enthusiasm.

"John?" Said the oldest Artemis. "I didn't think you of all people would show up! Last I heard you were in America boosting your acting career."

"I was," Replied John. "But I wouldn't miss this for the world." John then turned to Artemis Jr. and smiled brightly. "Is he your boy?" He asked.

"You have to ask?" 'Tim' said smirking. "Yes, this is Artemis the Second."

"My word!" John exclaimed. "If I didn't see you first I'd of thought he was you!"

A young girl came up behind John. She was wearing a headset and lightly whistling a catchy tune.

John yanked the head set off of the girl, which earned him an angry protest and an annoyed jab in the arm.

"This darling little _angel_ is my daughter Jennifer." He introduced as he put a hand on her head and messed up her hair, which she took down and had to put back up again in a hurried pony-tail. She then snatched her head set back and looped it around her neck.

"Hello," Artemis the first said and he held a hand out for a shake.

She took the hand and gave a nice quick shake responding with a mumbled, "Pleasure." She then turned to the younger Artemis and as the adults got all caught up introduced herself properly, "Hello, as you've heard my name is Jennifer but I would ask you not to call me that because it's annoying. Please call me Jen, it's shorter and I prefer it."

Artemis nodded, glancing at his father. He then turned back to Jen and responded, "Nice to meet you, my name is Artemis andI willask you to call me Artemis because I prefer it to the nicknames people like to come up with."

Jen smiled, more amused than happy to find a _smart_ kid among the misbehaved brats running around.

"Two Artemis's," She thought to herself. She smirked and laughed slightly at the next thought that came to her mind. "Does anyone ever call you Junior?" She asked aloud.

Artemis's hand twitched slightly but he remained completely composed and answered, "No, because I am not Artemis 'Jr.', but Artemis the Second."

Jen could no longer hold the laugh that had been growing in the back of her throat. So she let it go. She laughed and responded, while wiping the tears from the corner of her eyes, "Oh so formal. Artemis the Second? So tell me, _Junior_, how'd you end up getting dragged to this reunion? Was it that you would be bored from lack of a proper hobby or was it that you're your father's son and bend to his every request?"

Artemis was beginning to become annoyed with the smart-ass (my, such harsh thoughts) brat of a girl in front of him.

"Well, before I answer your question, _Jennifer_, tell me how you ended up here." Artemis asked in the same annoying tone she had used.

Jen narrowed her eyes at Arty but both children went rigid when they overheard a part of the conversation that their fathers were having.

"So where will you be staying while you're here?" Artemis Sr. asked.

"Oh, just some hotel. I can't quite remember the name of it but it's just down the street there." John replied.

"Why don't you stay with us? We have plenty of rooms as you will remember."

"Why that's very kind of you. What would the Misses say though?"

"She'd be fine, she's always asking about high school friends so I'm sure she'd be happy to meet you."

"Well then I guess we're going home with you two."

"That's great!"

Jen and Artemis looked at each in disbelief.

"I can't believe I'll be spending two weeks with him." Jen thought.

"I can't believe I'll be spending two weeks with her." Artemis thought.

* * *

That'll be it for the first chapter. I know it's relatively short but it'll have to do for the first chapter.

I'd just like to inform you that Jen is not based off of myself what so ever. She has the same looks (which I forgot to mention) except for the fact that she's petite and I'm not (I'm not fat but I have a lot of muscle from swimming and playing DDR a lot). Also her attitude is totally different. While Jen is an instigator I try to make friends with everyone at first. And my name is not Jennifer. You can call me D. Yep just call me D 'cause there is no way I'm telling you my full name.

Artemis: Why do you insist upon putting me in uncomfortable positions?

D: 'Cause I enjoy watching you squirm.

Artemis: Why? What kind of childhood did you have to make you such a sadist?

D: Artemis, me a sadist? Puh-lease!

Artemis: You kill off one of my friends in another fan fiction of yours.

D: ARTEMIS! They weren't supposed to know about that!

Artemis: (sarcasm) Oops I'm so sorry.

D: Artemis do you, honestly now, want to screw around with the emotions of an author who can, oh I don't know, pull that stupid Warner Bros. cartoon cliché and drop an anvil on you fragile little head?

Artemis: …No….

D: I didn't think so now tell the readers what I told you to.

Artemis: For every reader who reviews…I can't do this!

D: Oh just review, I'll deal with you later.


	2. The Problems Start

Urgh! I had this chapter all written out but my computer decided that it was not happy with me and didn't save it! So now I have to re-write it which I've never found very fun but seem to be doing a lot of recently. And I can't seem to figure out how to get the spell check icon back on the tool bar but that's a matter for another time.

Disclaimer: If I owned it do you think I'd be here?

We left off (for people who bother to read this crap) with Artemis and Jen being forced to spend two weeks together in the same house. Thank whatever Gods that may be watching that Fowl Manor is big.

On with the story!

The first two days were bearable. They managed to avoid each other as much as possible and not talking when they were forced into the same room by their families.

Karma would not be merciful on the next few days.

As the parents left to go see some movie or play or whatever it was that they were doing, they left Artemis, Butler, Jen, and Juliet to tough it out together.

All had been peaceful in the morning. Jen was having breakfast and getting to know Juliet as Artemis walked in, grabbed something, and left to go work in the computer lab once more.

"Is he a vampire?" Jen wondered aloud after breakfast.

"One would think wouldn't they?" Juliet responded with a short giggle. "But I wouldn't worry too much. He's always like that and is probably working on a project for a friend."

Juliet was, of course, talking about Holly or Foaly. And she was right. Holly had asked Artemis for help not three days before the reunion. They were looking for a piece of fairy technology. Well a piece of a piece. It was part of the circuitry that helped a fairy communicator receive messages. No human should have figured out how to work it but someone was activating it from time to time. The LEP had called on Holly's help because they needed Artemis's help and although she refused to work with Sool she agreed and here they were.

"He has friends?" Jen asked. Though she was being slightly sarcastic she was indeed shocked.

"Yeah, he had to tick a load of people off first but in the end he made a lot more friends than I thought he'd have at his age."

Jen laughed and followed Juliet to the living room where they sat and chatted for the next hour or so.

Then lunch time came around.

Everyone flocked to the kitchen. Artemis was hoping to just grab something and run again but found that he had no such luck.

Juliet rolled her eyes and pulled Artemis to sit next to her at the kitchen table and said, "Take a break Artemis. I swear if you don't lie off of the working every now and then you're going to work yourself into an early grave or go blind from sitting in front of a computer for too long."

Butler smiled as his little sister was able to drag Artemis away from work. He continued to make some simple sandwiches for lunch, cutting each one diagonally. When he was done he set a large plate with many sandwiches, enough for each person to have two, on the table for people to dig in.

Artemis lifted the book he had been carrying to his face, determined to keep working even though Juliet had told him to take a break, and took no noticed when Jen, who had ran up to her room to get her own book, walked into the kitchen, also too interested in what she was reading to notice Artemis at the table. She sat down across from Juliet who looked back and forth between the two and decided to try and start a conversation.

"So what are you reading Jen?" She asked.

Artemis peered over his own book when he heard Jen's name and rolled his eyes before going back to reading his own book.

"_The Queen of the Damned_," Jen replied. "I had started it awhile ago but lost interest, then I saw the movie on the _Sci-Fi_ channel and had to pick it back up again."1

"Hey I saw that movie just last weekend." Juliet said. "Where are you in the book?"

"I'm about half way through. I'm at the part where Akasha saves Lestat at the concert by making all of the other vampires that were attacking him spontaneously combust." Jen then peered over her book at Artemis and added, "Doesn't Lestat remind you of someone?"

Artemis knew that he was being talked about and decided to wait to see if he was being flattered or insulted before commenting, though he was pretty sure it was the latter.

"Now that you mention it," Juliet said, smiling at the thought.

"You've got it." Jen smiled back, happy that she was able to share a joke at Artemis's expense. "Egotistical, hot headed, spoiled, and yet intelligent."

Artemis set his book down and asked, "And who in your book would you classify yourself as?"

Jen put her own book down and thought for a moment, then said, "David."

Juliet nearly fell out of her chair with laughter and Jen joined in until Artemis said, "Would you care to elaborate?"

Jen finished her fit of giggles and then said, "David is a leader, yet very cautious when it comes to things that he is unsure of, he also has a fascination with art and the dark side of the world."

One of Artemis's eyebrows rose when she was finished and leaned back in his chair and was about to comment when he thought better of it and kept quiet.

Juliet finished composing herself and asked, "Who am I?"

Jen once again looked deep in thought then said, "Armand."

Juliet looked unsure and asked, "Why Armand?"

Jen shrugged and replied, "I don't know, you just seem like an Armand."

Juliet burst into a fit of giggles again.

Artemis, not sure of how to react, shook his head and went back to the computer room, ready to continue working.

About thirty minutes into working Holly called to see if he had any information for her.

"No," Artemis told her as he ran a hand through his hair.

"What's that?" Holly asked, sounding stunned. "You, Artemis Fowl the second, the only person to tangle with the fairies and live/remember to tell about it have not been able to locate a simple piece of fairy technology?"

"And why haven't you been able to find it if it were so simple?" Artemis snapped at her.

Holly glared through the small screen and said, "Geeze Artemis, lighten up it was just a joke."

Artemis sighed and said, "I'm sorry Holly, I'm under," he paused, wondering how to put it, "my father took me to his old high school reunion and invited one of his old friends to stay for a few weeks. Unfortunately his daughter was with him and we don't get along very well."

Holly snickered before she laughed out right. "Sounds like you're having serious mud-girl problems."

"What was that?" Mulch said from somewhere to Holly's left. "Artemis is having trouble with the fairer sex?" Mulch began to laugh as well.

Artemis rolled his eyes and he found himself happy that he didn't have to face Root right now.

There was a knock at the door and Artemis quickly shut off the communicator and said, "Come in."

Jen came in with a piece of paper in hand and asked, "Who were you talking to?"

Artemis laced his voice with sarcasm and said, "My little fairy friends, what are you doing in here?"

Jen rolled her eyes and set herself up nice and comfy at another computer and turned it on. "I'm looking for a birthday present for a friend of mine. He wants this cheap-as-dirt guitar that costs more money than it's worth and can only be found online."

Artemis only 'hmed' and went back to what it was that he was doing on the computer.

"So what are you doing here?" Jen asked him as she found herself on a website that might as well have been called 'CheapMusic.lame'.

"That doesn't really concern you does it?" He replied.

Jen narrowed her eyes before balling up the piece of paper she was carrying and threw it at him. The ball hit Artemis in the center of his head and bounced off, landing on the keyboard in front of him.

"That's for you by the way." Jen said as she found the guitar and clicked the 'to buy' button.

Artemis picked it up and unwrinkled it. In big, bright, red, letters was the word 'LOSER' in all capitals. He rolled his eyes and put it in the garbage. He saw Jen get up and walk his way. She stopped to stare at the screen but not before Artemis was able to close the page and the connection to the disguised fairy tech tracker he had hooked up.

"Secretive are we?" Jen asked, smirking.

"As I have said before, it's none of your business."

Jen glared at Artemis before turning and walking out of the computer room being sure to slam the door on her way out.

Jen walked down the hall until she found Juliet who was sitting in front of the T.V. flipping through the on-demand channels until she found something she liked and it began to play. It turned out to be some kind of wrestling program about the trainers who train the stars.

"You like wrestling?" Jen asked.

"Yeah, do you?" Juliet replied.

"Nah, I never got into it. There's just something off putting about gorilla sized athletes in tight leather."

Juliet laughed again which caused Jen to wonder if she wasn't hyperactive or something.

"But," Jen continued, "I do like the martial arts and because my dad works with movies he was able to get me a special trainer."

"Oh do you fight?" Juliet asked excitedly.

"Not really, I just find the culture and philosophy behind it fascinating…but I could fight if I wanted to."

"You remind me of Artemis when you talk like that."

Jen made a fake shuddering motion and they both began to laugh.

Later, when he finally decided to take a break, Artemis came down the stairs and looked around for Butler. He found both Butlers and Jen out by the pool. Jen and Juliet were both wearing similar red swim suits while Butler was wearing old work cloths and working with the plants around the yard.

"Were you two pen-pals before you arrived, or did you just coordinate outfits when you got here?" He asked them.

"No," Jen said. "I actually got this swim suit to match my hair."

"And does it match!" Juliet said jokingly, earning her a gallon of water in her face. She then turned to Artemis and added, "What can we say? Great minds think alike."

Artemis rolled his eyes and as he walked by the pool to talk to Butler when he felt something wet grab his arm before he fell into the pool.

Upon hearing the splash and seeing no Artemis, Butler rushed to the side of the pool but slowed down when he saw Artemis's head pop up and out of the water. Jen and Juliet had to hold onto the sides of the pool or they'd sink from their laughter.

"What did you do that for!" Artemis yelled losing his patients with his unwanted house guest very quickly.

"I-I'm sorry," Jen said in between fits of giggles. "I j-just wanted to ask-ask you something."

Butler helped Artemis out of the pool and put a towel around the young boy's shoulders. "Well, what did you want to ask me?"

"If you wanted to come swimming." Jen said before both Juliet and she did almost drown from laughing so hard.

Artemis's eyes narrowed as he silently swore vengeance on the annoying waste of flesh called Jen.

The next day Artemis got up in a right fowl (snicker) mood. He knew something bad was going to happen that day, come to mention it it's the same feeling he normally gets whenever Jen walked by.

Still dressed in his pajamas he walked down stairs to see both Juliet and his mother heading out the door. Ok so what? Right…? He paused when he saw His father, John and Butler all getting ready to leave as well.

"We'll be back later tonight!" His father called. Then they all left through the front door as though they weren't going to come home to a pile of smoldering embers. 2

"Talk to your fairy friends lately?" Jen said from behind him.

He turned and gave her the most hated look in the world.

She just smiled and walked past him and into the kitchen.

He followed her into the kitchen and put some bread in the toaster, waiting for it to turn to toast. 3

Jen began to rummage through the fridge, humming the same song she had been humming when they first met. She then pulled out a small plastic container of water melon that Artemis knew wasn't there yesterday.

"So," she said. "Sleep well?"

Artemis rolled his eyes and began to prepare his toast which had just popped up. "Why do you want to know?" He asked.

"Because I'm bored as Hell and would like to start a conversation."

He looked at her suspiciously and then replied, "I slept fine, thank you."

"Are you gonna lock your self in the computer room again today?"

"I might." He took a bite out of his toast as Jen pulled herself to sit up on the counter across from him.

"Are you going to talk to me or might I have better luck trying to teach the pieces of watermelon I'm eating to dance?"

"It depends," he replied. He put his toast on the plate he had sitting on the counter. He then looked back at her in waiting.

"Depends on what?" She asked, setting her melon down and looking back at him. One of Artemis's eyes twitched slightly in response and she said, "I said I was sorry yesterday! What do you want from me?"

Artemis just smirked and asked, "Did you have something planned to do today?"

"I don't know, I might go swimming again, maybe read a bit, and then I'm probably going to drag out my Play Station 2 and play a couple of games…why?" She asked.

"Good," Artemis said as he picked up his plate and made his way out of the kitchen, "That means you'll be out of my way for most of the day." He then exited the kitchen on his way to his computer.

He was able to spend well over half of the day avoiding Jen. Soon he decided to move his work into his room.

"Still having girl trouble Arty?" Holly teased.

"Don't call me Arty, and not today. She's spent most of the day playing video games or reading and she hasn't bothered me once." He replied happily.

"So have you been able to figure out where that piece of circuitry is or who has it?"

"No, not exactly. But I will be able to give you the general idea as to where it's located in a minute." The computer beeped a bit then made a popping noise and gave Artemis a map of the U.S. with a flashing light around Georgia.

"Perfect," He said, "I'm sending it to you now. But I won't be able to accompany you this time. It's in America so you're on your own."

"Why can't you come?" Asked Mulch around a large sandwich.

"We have company over, remember. I wouldn't be allowed to go anywhere and I can't exactly sneak out."

"Oh," Was the only thing that Mulch said after that.

"Well you can take a break now. Go eat lunch or something." Holly said as she opened the file Artemis had sent her.

Artemis looked at the clock and it was indeed lunch time. He switched the communicator off and headed downstairs.

When he got to the kitchen again, Jen was there and she was bent over some paper and seemed to be concentrating hard. She leaned back in her chair and took a bite out of a sandwich she made for herself and sighed.

Artemis leaned over her shoulder and looked at what it was that she had been doing. He saw a half finished picture of a young woman.

"That's very well done." He commented.

Jen jumped a foot out of her chair and covered her picture with her hands. "It's not done yet!" She said hurriedly.

Artemis laughed a bit and made him self something to eat. "I can see that." He said.

She glared his way and said, "Aren't you going to eat that in the computer room?"

"No," he replied, "I'm finished."

"So what were you doing?"

"Something for a friend."

She glared again and asked, "Is this going to be a repeat of this morning?"

Artemis looked at the paper Jen was covering and saw that it was only one page out of an entire sketch book. "May I see what you've done?" He asked.

"No you may not." She said as she closed her sketch book.

"Fine." Was all Artemis had to say before making his way out of the kitchen, deciding that he really wasn't that hungry anyway.

"Where are you going?" Jen asked.

"Up to my room. I have to look for something now that the favor I've been asked to do is over." He stated simply before exiting the room.

Jen finished the rest of her sandwich and went to the living room where she had set up her game system. She replaced the game that was inside with another game and replaced the controller with a mat that had four arrows on it, up, down, left, and right. 4 She turned the volume up higher as a voice announced the name of the game and some funky music began to play.

Artemis heard the music from his room and went down to the living room to investigate. He watched as Jen stepped on each one of the arrows in time with the music. She went on like that for another 30 min. with Artemis stuck half way down (or is it up) the stairs staring as Jen exhausted herself (not like the romantic staring but more like the WTF staring). He brought his gaze away as he remembered why he was going down there in the first place to watch his footing on the stairs. His head quickly snapped back to her, however, when he heard a sharp crash and a stream of curses.

Jen slipped while trying to perform a rather difficult maneuver involving a lot of jumping and twisting, and had hit her head on the corner of a hard wood table. Artemis had made it to her as she was getting over the initial shock where she just laid there, staring at the ceiling. He helped her into a sitting position as she once again cursed all wood floors and tables to rot and/or burn in hell.

"You're probably going to make some stupid smart-ass comment," Artemis began. "But I'm going to need you to cooperate with me for now all right?"

Jen stared at him with wide eyes before nodding her head.

"What's your name? And where are you right now?" He asked her as he checked her pulse and breathing. 5

"My name is Jennifer and I'm at Fowl Manor." She said rather shakily. More surprised by the fact that he called her a smart-ass than falling backwards and hitting her head.

"Good, now what's your father's name and what is his job?"

"My dad's name is John and he's an actor slash script director for Universal Studios."

Artemis felt around the back of her head until he was rewarded with a swat at his arm and a quick, "Ouch!"

"I'm guessing it hurts when I do that?" He asked her.

"Yeah, so will you quit it?" Jen said angrily. She was about to say something rude to him but was cut off when the fairy communicator in his pocket buzzed.

"I'll be right back," Artemis said as he pulled the thing out of his pocket. "Don't fall asleep while I'm gone."

Jen rolled her eyes and switched off the game, deciding instead to listen to music and read.

Artemis rounded the corner and answered the buzzing. Holly's face appeared on the screen and she said, "You're amazing Artemis!"

"I take it you found the circuitry with little or no problems." He said.

"You bet! Foaly was able to size down the range in which it could be in and me and a bunch of Recon guys made a scanner sweep and found the piece at some Science Fiction fanatic's house. He was only able to make it work because it looked like a piece of circuitry in one of his lame Sci-Fi shows." Holly had to laugh at that.

"I'm glad I was able to help." He said. He then peered around the corner to see Jen reading the vampire book and listening to her head set again.

"Still having girl problems?" Holly asked, but a little more seriously than the last two times.

"Yes," He said as he turned back around. "She pulled me into the pool yesterday," Holly had to replace her laughter with a snicker when she heard that but held back her comment and let him continue. "And today she nearly gives me a heart attack by nearly giving herself a concoction."

"Is she alright?" Holly said after calming down.

"She's fine."

"Well that's good. Hope everything works out." Holly said before quickly turning off the communicator.

'What's that supposed to mean?' He thought to himself as he went to finish checking up on Jen.

"There's some bleeding," He said after looking at the area where she had hit the table. "But it's already stopped and it looks like you won't need any stitches. Maybe when your father gets here you can go to the hospital to have a closer look at it."

Jen rolled her eyes again and set her book down on the table. "Will you stop fussing over me? It's getting kind of creepy."

"How so?" He asked. "You danced your self to exhaustion and hit your head on a thick wooded table with the help of gravity. You could have a concussion."

"You just don't seem like the fussing type." She said.

"Then how would you describe me?" He asked.

"If I were to describe you I would have to say …" She said then added, "You have the IQ of several collage science professors, yet with the emotional stability of a ten year old. A very scary, quiet ten year old."

Artemis raised an eye brow with a look of annoyance mixed with curiosity.

"Care to voice your thoughts on me?" Jen asked.

Artemis looked thoughtful then decided to use the same pattern of description she used on him. "You, probably, have the knowledge of five high school art teachers, and you have the personality of a closet freak."

Jen stared at him for a moment then burst out laughing to the point of crying. "And-and h-how would y-you kn-know what a closet fr-freak is like!"

O.k. I'm going to end it here. I know it's a stupid place to end a chapter but I have to take a break and I don't want to come back to an unfinished chapter…I'd totally lose the beat.

Things in the story:

1 : _The Queen of the Damned_ is the third book in _The Vampire Chronicles_, a series by Anne Rice. It mentions in the document page that we are not allowed to make fan fictions based on her books. It never said anything about mentioning them in other fan fictions so I didn't think anything of putting it here until I continued typing about it. If it's against the rules for me to use this please say so. I just thought it would be a good way to get Juliet and Jen to bond and another good way to frustrate Arty.

2 : It's an inside joke me and my dad share. Whenever he leaves me home by myself or with a friend he'll always say "Be good and don't burn the house down." And I'd always say "But what if we build it back up again." And then he'd say "have fun then."

3 : I can't remember what I was originally going to type and I was watching the cartoon _Ed, Edd, and Eddy_ at the time so I just thought I'd add that in there for fun. If you don't get the reference then please say so and I'll be more than happy to explain.

4 : I wasn't going to number that but I didn't want to put the actual name of the game in there because there are actually two games like that. And not every one would know about that game. I was referring to the game known as DDR (Dance Dance Revolution). It's a super fun game. It's originally Japanese (like most games) but I guess a lot of the lyrics were translated into English when it was brought here. It used to just be an arcaded game but they made the dance pad/mat (whichever you prefer) so you could play it at home. The other game like that (made by a fan so I heard) is called In the Groove. I'm not sure if they have a home version or not which is why I chose not to mention any names while writing that portion of the fan fic.

5 : When people get head injuries the first thing you should do is to check if they're competent. You should check if they know their names, their family member's names, their address and so forth. If not it's best to call the paramedics. While they are on the way you should make sure that the person does not fall asleep in case they have a concussion. They could easily slip into a coma like that and we all know that wouldn't be too great would it?

D: Another successful chapter completed.

Artemis; You call this rubbish successful?

D: I do as a matter of fact.

Artemis: Well I don't.

D: How easily we forget who holds the keyboard.

Artemis: ….

D: That's right my bishounen!

Artemis: Did you just call me a pretty boy in Japanese?

D: Hey I'm trying to learn the language so I like to slip little bits and pieces in everyday conversations so I don't get rusty.

Artemis: (looks at his script like a hostage victim) She wants at least five more reviews by the time she is done writing the next chapter or she'll feed Butler to her…does that say squirrel?

D: Aw look it! Arty-kun can read!


End file.
